Cracker Jokes

by Corinne Pollard

Cracker jokes aren’t funny. Yet when it flutters out from my paper hat, I feel obliged to read it out loud.

“What do you call an elderly snowman?” I pause. “A puddle.”

Most groan, some roll their eyes, but Aunt Iris, who’d been at the sherry, laughs.

I smile at her silliness, watching as her cheeks grow redder, until…BANG!

She vanishes, and my vision darkens. I wipe her blood off my face and realise the table is swimming in it.

I spot her eyeball floating in the gravy boat and her ear in my champagne glass.

Cracker jokes aren’t funny.

Corinne Pollard

Corinne is a UK disabled horror writer who loves to dabble with drabbles. Follow her online: @CorinnePWriter