by Helen French The coalition of evil editors meets once a month in a grotty East London pub. Today, Chairman Farqhart adjusts his monocle and says, “First on the agenda: tormenting writers. Our usual cruelty is losing its edge. They shrug off insults, and blunt rejections no longer crush their spirits. Suggestions?” “What about…” a […]
by James Patrick Riser No simultaneous submissions. Do not query. It was the last publication that still required paper submissions. A drop of your blood must be included on the very last page. No need to put your information in the header; Rich assumed they would know who he was. He watched the white envelope […]
by Bruce Markuson Stacy Wilkins Author of Two-Timing Bitch January 1, 2025 Dear Ms Wilkins, I must apologise for sending this letter by post instead of by e-mail. Congratulations! Your book Two-Timing Bitch has been accepted for publication. Your story about your tawdry and sordid affair with your married two-timing bastard of a boyfriend, Steven […]
by Bernardo Villela At the murder scene a phrase was scrawled upon the wall: “The ardoUr he’d felt for his former paramour had been extinguished. He knew rumoUrs would start, but he would not let it coloUr his world.” The words were written in permanent marker, save for the capitalised U’s which were written in […]
by Katie Dee I hover over the Delete button. Jerry insists my novel needs cuts. “Too many characters. Remove Charlie completely.” I hate yielding to the conniving prat, but Jerry’s held me hostage in my contract for years. He forces me to write what he wants to see, else he promises I’ll never land an […]
by Arvee Fantilagan “Rubbish,” she brutalised one submitter. “Worthless,” another. Her own cruelty made her wince. “Tenth straight rejection. I suggest a career change.” Yet people kept submitting! And who could blame them? “Eternal Damnation Magazine” would sound badass on any bio. DID YOU ACCEPT ANYONE? She flinched, flames scorching her face. “There wasn’t anyone […]
by Don Money “As I mentioned when you signed the contract for editorial services, my expertise comes with a price,” Vachele Quinn said to the younger man. The imposing view of the city from the ninety-seventh floor splayed out behind the man at the desk furthered the trepidation felt by Cameron Yates. “I thought you […]
by S.F.J. Painter “You’re awake. Good. Wondering why you’re here? Stop whimpering. Well, dear boy, you’ve been my editor for many years. Sorry – was that too many words for you? Curious why you’re naked, tied to a chair, your skin a patchwork of ink and blood? You didn’t know I was in earshot. I […]
by Evan Baughfman In the funhouse mirror, Paul looked ridiculously out of proportion—legs stubby, torso stretched out like taffy. His arms were disjointed giraffe limbs, impossibly long and spindly. “Disgusting,” Paul spat. He modelled for local shops. Usually, mirrors were his friends. His distorted reflection grinned huge teeth, even as Paul grimaced. He lifted a […]
by Susan Monroe McGrath “Hold still.” Before I can protest, my sister yanks a hair from my scalp. “Got it!” She holds the gleaming grey strand like a trophy. “Once you find the first grey hair, it’s all downhill.” I retreat to the bathroom and stare into the mirror. Another grey hair. Sigh. I mimic […]