by Jeff Currier The Arouca suspension footbridge’s vista was breathtaking. But when Scott noticed the hovering skull-shaped drones, he pushed aside murmuring sightseers and began sprinting. Cassie Andros, producer of the insanely popular show Stalking Death, claimed she could see the future. No one believed her. Yet from chicken-bone asphyxiations to fiery crashes, her drones […]
by Chris Clemens “Next, we’re featuring an inmate who’s committed financial crimes you wouldn’t believe, folks. Sentenced to death by peer jury, this dumpling signed our contract and enjoyed one last week in Montreal while you placed bets. Now, he quivers before the skull-lined gates, refusing to move, which means Viewer’s Choice! Your micropayments at […]
by Ryan Van Ells The hand behind the camera signals: more. I would smile, but I know better. Instead, I let out another sob, dreadful and echoing. I feel Mike twitch away from it. Amateur. If he was going to break up with me, I was going to get another show out of it. The […]
by Pauline Yates The audience whoops as I hug my ex. She’s lost ten pounds and is dressed to kill, but who cares? Play this right and tomorrow, I’ll be half a million dollars richer. I dumped her once. I’ll easily dump her again. […]
by Scott O’Neill The neon-flashing balance scale tilted toward his opponent. A crocodile smile oozed from the host, “Devin! Do you give up, or will you…” The audience chanted, “Tip! The! Scale!” Devin thrust his arm into the Sacrifice Zone. Surgical lasers flared. His severed forearm thudded down beside his hand and fingers on the […]
by Marinda Kotze The girl scooped up her tray and strode towards the judges’ table. “Maisie, what have you cooked up for us today?” “Chefs, today I’ve made you a special jerk pork stew.” Maise lifted the tray’s lid, revealing a cloud of rising steam and the stew, still bubbling in its serving dish. “You […]
by Liam Hogan Topping TV viewing figures for the thirty-ninth straight week comes the juggernaut reality show Must Watch. The will-they-won’t-they relationship drama—with added guns, knives, and poisons—is engrossing enough, but the clincher is the army of roving researchers, heavily armed, who canvas pedestrians and knock on front doors. Anyone who can’t answer their multiple-choice […]
by Pauline Yates Dear Author Alphabet Abuser, We have refuse to read your submission drivel. and unfortunately You pulverised the prose so badly your story isn’t quite what we’re looking for right now unreadable. While wWe regretfully cannot provide detailed feedback due to the volume of submissions, won’t provide feedback. You are beyond help. we […]
by Richard Lau He hated to self-edit but felt that there was no one else qualified enough to do the job. The act of creation was tough enough, but at least you only did it once. The revisions were maddening. How many to do? How deep to make the cuts? What was the consequence of […]
by Helen French The coalition of evil editors meets once a month in a grotty East London pub. Today, Chairman Farqhart adjusts his monocle and says, “First on the agenda: tormenting writers. Our usual cruelty is losing its edge. They shrug off insults, and blunt rejections no longer crush their spirits. Suggestions?” “What about…” a […]