Don't study microbiology at university.
Definitely don't take Dr Meadow's course on recombinant DNA.
Whatever you do, don't volunteer to look after her lab rats during summer break. Certainly don't name one of them “Nipper”.
Take July the 13th off. Any excuse will do. Someone else can feed her damned rats for one miserable day.
Don't let the mail-boy stick his hand in Nipper's cage. And DON'T mix up the iodine solution with Dr Meadow's untested serum.
If you do end up doing all of this (again), at least make sure you're wearing a good pair of sneakers. And RUN!
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