Form Rejection

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by Pauline Yates

Dear Author Alphabet Abuser,

We have refuse to read your submission drivel. and unfortunately You pulverised the prose so badly your story isn’t quite what we’re looking for right now unreadable. While wWe regretfully cannot provide detailed feedback due to the volume of submissions, won’t provide feedback. You are beyond help. we thank you for your interest in our magazine Never send us, or anyone, anything ever again.  and hope you continue to cConsider us in the future. becoming a serial killer or get a job at a slaughterhouse where your butchering skills will be more appreciated.

Regards,

The Editor

Pauline Yates

Pauline Yates is an award-winning author of horror and science fiction from Queensland, Australia.

Website: paulineyates.com

Revision

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by Richard Lau

He hated to self-edit but felt that there was no one else qualified enough to do the job.

The act of creation was tough enough, but at least you only did it once.

The revisions were maddening. How many to do? How deep to make the cuts? What was the consequence of each change? Yet plotlines would follow their own path; characters would go astray.

He was always temperamental during these periods of revision. Some days kind and giving; others angry and vengeful. As varied as the weather. Yes, the weather. That was the answer.

So, he flooded the world.

Richard Lau

Richard Lau is an award-winning writer who is published in magazines, newspapers, and anthologies, as well as in the high-tech industry and online.

Revising Evil

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by Helen French

The coalition of evil editors meets once a month in a grotty East London pub.

Today, Chairman Farqhart adjusts his monocle and says, “First on the agenda: tormenting writers. Our usual cruelty is losing its edge. They shrug off insults, and blunt rejections no longer crush their spirits. Suggestions?”

“What about…” a new voice ventures.

“Go on. This is an evil space, but it’s a safe one.”

“What about acceptance letters?”

The crowd gasps.

“Explain,” Farqhart instructs.

“Not ordinary ones. We’ll ask for extensive revisions, and offer cryptic, contradictory feedback.”

Farqhart grins. “That’ll break them, all right.”

And everyone cheers.

Helen French

Helen French grew up in Merseyside near the coast and now lives in Hertfordshire, UK with her family. Her short stories have appeared in venues such as Factor Four, Stupefying Stories, and Flash Fiction Online, and she is currently buried in novel writing. You can find her online at helenfrench.net. 

Efficiency

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by P.S. Traum

My Editor is wise and all-powerful. He made a single mother’s amateurish incubus books into bestsellers. I trust his instincts.

He has taken to editing my life for increased efficiency. In November, I awoke with a flat chest and skinny body; he said my curvaceousness encouraged the distraction of dating. I’ve written an entire new novel since.

Last month my needy toddler son was edited out, leaving only my preteen daughter, who is self-sufficient. Two weeks ago my memories and dreams were deemed extraneous. On Monday, hunger and sleep were deleted. Yesterday my legs were edited away. And today my—

P.S. Traum

P.S. Traum is an author with a range of styles who has had short stories published in several small press genre publications. P.S.T. has had more than three dozen short stories published since 2020. Forthcoming for publication is a collection of short stories. Traum eschews publicity in the hopes the storylines and characters get all the attention without preconceived perceptions of external context.

Do Not Query

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by James Patrick Riser

No simultaneous submissions. Do not query. It was the last publication that still required paper submissions. A drop of your blood must be included on the very last page. No need to put your information in the header; Rich assumed they would know who he was.

He watched the white envelope slide down the throat of the mailbox. It landed with a hollow thump. The mailbox’s door slammed closed with a metallic scream. There. Done.

Three weeks later, during dinner, he felt a sharp pain in his chest. A dark hand squeezed his heart to a stop: the rejection notice.

James Patrick Riser

James Patrick Riser lives in California with his wife and daughter. 

Chief Editor, Dark Romance Press

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by Bruce Markuson

Stacy Wilkins

Author of Two-Timing Bitch

January 1, 2025

Dear Ms Wilkins,

I must apologise for sending this letter by post instead of by e-mail.

Congratulations! Your book Two-Timing Bitch has been accepted for publication. Your story about your tawdry and sordid affair with your married two-timing bastard of a boyfriend, Steven Murkowski, is exactly what the readers want.

As an experienced editor, I know it will easily bring seven figures in sales.

Unfortunately, you will not receive a dime in sales considering that I have laced this page with cyanide.

Sincerely,

Mrs Jenny Murkowski

Chief Editor, Dark Romance Press

Bruce Markuson

Bruce Markuson lives with his wife and two children in Milwaukee WI. He has a novel and over a hundred short stories published. Bruce is also working on a number of series. He enjoys writing and often finds himself with writer’s obsession. He says the best way to write is to have an ending then write to that ending.

Bloody Vowels

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by Bernardo Villela

At the murder scene a phrase was scrawled upon the wall: “The ardoUr he’d felt for his former paramour had been extinguished. He knew rumoUrs would start, but he would not let it coloUr his world.”

The words were written in permanent marker, save for the capitalised U’s which were written in blood.

There was a gibbering man in the corner. Papers with red pencil marks all over them were strewn about leading to a corpse.

The police approached him tentatively.

“Sir?” one of the officers ventured.

“I snapped. I couldn’t stand it!”

“What?”

“He refused to spell words properly!”

Bernardo Villela

Bernardo Villela has short fiction included in periodicals such as LatineLit and in anthologies such as There’s More of Us Than You Know. He’s had original poetry published by Exist Otherwise among others and translations published by AzonaL and Red Fern Review. You can find some of his other works here:  https://linktr.ee/bernardovillela.

Delete

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by Katie Dee

I hover over the Delete button.

Jerry insists my novel needs cuts. “Too many characters. Remove Charlie completely.”

I hate yielding to the conniving prat, but Jerry’s held me hostage in my contract for years. He forces me to write what he wants to see, else he promises I’ll never land an agent again.

“Don’t delete me,” Charlie whispers. “Jerry’s the one who should disappear.”

Usually I fight back when one of my characters tries to take over. This time, I don’t.

I give Charlie full control. He grabs my keys and a butcher’s knife, and drives to Jerry’s house.

Katie Dee

Katie Dee is a Civil Engineer turned microfiction writer from Nashville, Tennessee. Her work has been featured on Curated Microfiction, Sci-Fi Shorts, and Vocal Media. If she’s not writing, she’s scrolling on Instagram: @KatieDeeWrites. 

Not a Reflection on the Quality of the Work

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by Arvee Fantilagan

“Rubbish,” she brutalised one submitter. “Worthless,” another.

Her own cruelty made her wince.

“Tenth straight rejection. I suggest a career change.”

Yet people kept submitting! And who could blame them? “Eternal Damnation Magazine” would sound badass on any bio.

DID YOU ACCEPT ANYONE?

She flinched, flames scorching her face.

“There wasn’t anyone good enough…”

LIAR!!

She screamed as her skin melted into syrup. It would regrow soon enough—though she knew a chunk of her dignity would not.

TEN NEW SOULS, OR ELSE.

Grimacing and on fire, she began messaging the next submitter:

“Congratulations! We really enjoyed your piece—”

Arvee Fantilagan

Arvee Fantilagan grew up in the Philippines, lives in Japan, and has more of his works at sites.google.com/view/arveef. He hopes to write a better bio someday.

Bleed Red

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by Don Money

“As I mentioned when you signed the contract for editorial services, my expertise comes with a price,” Vachele Quinn said to the younger man.

The imposing view of the city from the ninety-seventh floor splayed out behind the man at the desk furthered the trepidation felt by Cameron Yates. “I thought you were kidding. You can’t be serious?”

“Oh, I am quite serious,” Vachele replied. The editor slid the empty ink well and syringe across to Cameron. “I find writers make fewer mistakes when they have to give a little of themselves to help me mark the corrections I find.”

Don Money

Don Money writes stories across a variety of genres. He is a middle school literacy teacher. His stories have appeared in a variety of anthologies and magazines.