Tag Archive for: captain jack-style pirate heroes

The Affectionate Captain Belle

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by Alden Terzo 

Captain Belle and Bonecrusher Pete brought their dinghy alongside her ship.

Belle stood, jewels in hand. “Sorry luv, you won’t be coming aboard.”

  Pete gaped. “You’re double crossing me?”

“Maths was never your strength, was it sugar?” She smiled. “We double crossed that jeweller. This is a triple cross.”

Pete stood, towering over her. “I’ll not stand for this!”

“I know, baby,” Belle cooed. Drawing her cutlass, she deftly sliced the tendon beneath his kneecap, sending him sprawling. “You may sit.”

Pete roared.

“Such a tantrum!” Belle exclaimed as her crew pulled her aboard. “Was it the maths barb, darlin’?

Alden Terzo

When Alden Terzo isn’t reading, he’s often writing. Or procrastinating. There is usually coffee involved. Find him on Twitter 

Twitter: @AmbassadorAlden 

 

The Wrong Ship for That

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by T.J. Gallasch 

“Hand over the necklace, in the name of His Majesty the King,” the officer ordered.

“You’ll need to take it from me,” One-Eyed Sue declared.

“What are you waiting for, man?” ordered the officer’s senior dressed in red. “Kill her and take what we’ve come for.”

Without hesitation, the sailor lunged with his sword.

Sue felt the point pierce her chest, but the pain was evident in the sailor’s eyes. Before her, mist surrounded the man, changing him—painfully.

“And the Black Mist’s crew keeps growing,” laughed Sue as she jumped overboard, the precious necklace still firmly in her grasp.

T.J. Gallasch

 

The Pirate’s Parrot

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by Tracy Davidson 

Captain Drake “Ducky” Mallard never touched rum. Or Spanish gold. She’d seen what both did to fellow pirates. She preferred a clear head and curseless life.

Well, relatively curseless. Once a month, hormones turned her into raving hellbeast. Her First Mate learnt to handle her (after having been tossed overboard two or thirteen times). The support parrot helped. And pots and pots of smuggled tea.

She didn’t murder. Or maim (much). Until the day an aggrieved tea merchant strangled said support parrot.

She had both stuffed and mounted. Now, parrot feathers and a pair of ball bags adorn her hat.

Tracy Davidson

Tracy Davidson lives in Warwickshire, England, and writes poetry and flash fiction. Her work has appeared in various publications and anthologies, including: Poet’s Market, Mslexia, Atlas Poetica, Modern Haiku, The Binnacle, A Hundred Gourds, Shooter, Journey to Crone, The Great Gatsby Anthology, WAR, In Protest: 150 Poems for Human Rights.

Satisfaction

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by Jenny Thompson 

The captain clambered up the rope ladder.

“I’ve got it!” he called cheerfully before hopping the rail onto the deck of his ship. He tossed his leather map quiver to the First Mate. “The map’s a gift from the harbour master’s wife who turned out to be a most agreeable lady. Her husband, on the other hand…” He shook his head. “I had to make a rather quick exit from her bedchamber this morning.”

“Captain, you seem to have forgotten something.”

The captain glanced down.

“Right.” He shrugged. “I’m sure I can pick up my trousers next time we visit.”

Jenny Thompson

Jenny Thompson is an IT analyst based in Pittsburgh. Her poetry has been published in Strange Horizons, Star*Line, and the anthology Post ROE Alternatives: Fighting Back.

Choose Who You Accrue to Crew the Cruise Carefully

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by Steven Holding 

I didn’t sign up for this ship!

I was press-ganged; seduced by drink and the promise of riches. Slipped a mickey, woke afloat upon the ocean.

Luckily, the cretinous captain doesn’t realise mutiny’s nothing new to me. Quick compliments (YOU’RE NO OAR BORE, YOU’RE B.O.A.T!) and I’m soon first and best mate.

Using behind his back distraction tactics (AKA parrot poisoning) I slyly ply the crew with boozy truths. “This captain’s seafood! It’s the plank, then he’s plankton!”

A pirate’s pact is made; blades break skin, crimson drops diluting our drinks.

Us bloodthirsty lads raise a toast.

“Murder a redrum!”

Steven Holding

Steven Holding lives in the United Kingdom. Most recently, his stories have appeared in the collections Annihilation from Black Ink Fiction and Year Four from Black Hare Press. You can follow his work at:

Website: stevenholding.co.uk

Flabbergasted Tranquillity Sea Turtles

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by A.L. Blacklyn 

Tight together in a hidden corner of the storage decks, the former ship’s captain and I conspired for the lunar colony’s slave rebellion. I said. “I got it, but how do I know this isn’t a trap?”

“I give you my word,” he answered solemnly. He smelled like engine-room rum.

He was notoriously wily in negotiations. Regardless, I had no better choice than to trust him.

I tested his trustworthiness soon after.

He’d spoken truth all the way through. He distracted the officers. I overrode the external locks for the escapees to dock.

The new captain hadn’t changed his password.

A.L. Blacklyn

A.L. Blacklyn currently resides in the Southeastern United States. Read more about them and their fiction at:

Website: shadowsinmind.net

Tale of Two Mouths

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by Rotten Akers 

Captain Tinnitus staggered toward the voluptuous figure, empty rum in hand.

Her fingers ran along her scantily clothed body, wet and grimy in the ashen rain, with hungry eyes.

“I’ve had enough watchin’ me crew torn apart as cannon fodder, m’lady!” He burped. “I beg you, I’m in need of a woman’s tenderness. I can bear no more!”

“I’ll erase those memories. Come, lie down.”

Tinnitus hopped over, rolled on his back, and smiled toothy-like.

She disrobed and revealed a vagina with drooling sharp teeth and tentacles.

“That’s lovely.” He hiccupped.

She sat and devoured his head through muffled screams.

Rotten Akers

Rotten Akers is an American horror writer based in Cache County, Utah. Notable influences on his writing include RL Stine, Edgar Allan Poe, HP Lovecraft, and Stephen King. He lives happily in a little blue house with his wife, growing son, grandma of said son, two dogs, and two cats.

The Notorious Captain Jane Hotchkiss

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by Scott O’Neill

“Just surrender! We’re about through,” crowed Ensign Richards.

A plasma cutter splattered molten metal from the freighter’s final bulkhead.

Muffled contralto laughter sounded behind the hatch. “Dear boy, the renowned star pirate Captain Jane Hotchkiss doesn’t surrender.”

“Renowned? Notorious, maybe. You’ve no engines and minimal life support,” said Richards.

“Where could you go?”

The cut bulkhead fell. Eager navy ratings followed their ensign through the still-smoking hole.

“Wherever I please,” came the voice from a comlink in the empty compartment.

Vibrations from released docking clamps echoed in the suddenly still air.

“My notoriety waxes ever brighter. Your pinnace is lovely.”

Scott O’Neill

Scott writes reports and memorandums by day and speculative fiction by night, with short works published by various presses. You can find him on Twitter.

Twitter: @wererooster

Piracy in Practice

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by Keech Ballard

The hardest part of leading a pirate crew is not the danger. Nor the violence. Nor the uncertain income prospects. Nor the moral and ethical ambivalence of existentiality.

It’s the training requirements. Newly minted pirates are always too much. Or too little. Or too something. It’s not like the job comes with a training manual. Piratical policies and procedures.

Everything is up in the air. Negotiable. Subject to conditions. Really. It can be quite exasperating.

That’s why I use Helen Tavrel’s Piracy in Practice as my preferred guide to understanding the basics. For all new recruits. Whoever they may be.

Keech Ballard

Ghost Writer on the Storm

Website: keechballard.com

 

Ending the Sibling Rivalry

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by Jessica Gleason

As the bilge stilled, rancid water backing up into the hull, Stabby Scoop smiled. She’d staved across the galley unnoticed, sneaking deep into the ship’s belly to despatch the bilge workers, hoping to sink her older sister’s ship.

“Did ye hear the cannons last night?” she’d ask passersby, attempting small talk as a suspicion averting tactic.

Lower and lower still, the ship descended to the watery depths. Imperceptible to the naked eye, but more pressing as each moment ticked by.

Stabby Scoop looked on, her vessel a safe distance away, laughing at her sister’s end, finally becoming the favourite child.

Jessica Gleason

Jessica Gleason is a Hawaiian-Italian writer, reader, professor, and an all-around weirdo. Gleason has been a college English professor since 2008, is a painter of horror creatures, and has mastered the Song of Time on her ocarina. For daily updates, please follow her on Instagram.

Instagram: @j.g.writes