Corinne Pollard Archives - Black Hare Press

Cracker Jokes

December 17, 2024/by Shawna Rowan

by Corinne Pollard

Cracker jokes aren’t funny. Yet when it flutters out from my paper hat, I feel obliged to read it out loud.

“What do you call an elderly snowman?” I pause. “A puddle.”

Most groan, some roll their eyes, but Aunt Iris, who’d been at the sherry, laughs.

I smile at her silliness, watching as her cheeks grow redder, until…BANG!

She vanishes, and my vision darkens. I wipe her blood off my face and realise the table is swimming in it.

I spot her eyeball floating in the gravy boat and her ear in my champagne glass.

Cracker jokes aren’t funny.

Corinne Pollard

Corinne is a UK disabled horror writer who loves to dabble with drabbles. Follow her online: @CorinnePWriter

Wisps on the Moors

September 2, 2023/by Shawna Rowan

by Corinne Pollard

I raised my knickers, my bladder no longer full, while the lilac heathers bobbed in gratitude.

Ready to continue our hike, I spun round, but his tallness and backpack had vanished. I yelled his name, but the roaring wind snatched them.

Dark clouds were massing as my feet grew heavier.

Follow us. Blue lights floated like hopeful lanterns in the darkness. He went this way.

The orbs flew, and my feet followed, leading me in the opposite direction. Their lights calmed my troubled heart. Their gentle, fairy-like faces soothed my loneliness. I didn’t see their glistening fangs until too late.

Corinne Pollard

Corinne is a UK disabled horror writer who loves to dabble with drabbles. Follow her online: @CorinnePWriter

Patient Update

February 7, 2023/by Shawna Rowan

by Corinne Pollard

“Doctor, how fares my elder brother? He’s been locked inside for five years now. Is he cured? Will he take back his inheritance?”

“I’m afraid not, sir. Your brother continues to show odd behaviour and disturbing symptoms like scratching at walls, screaming, attacking himself and others.”

“Pity.”

“Rest assured, we will find the right treatment for him. In the meantime, sir, have you detected any disturbances of the mind?”

“Me?! None whatsoever. How dare you! You forget your place.”

“Apologies, sir, but we believe it can run in the family and it would explain why you’re here, talking to yourself.”

Corinne Pollard

Corinne is a UK disabled horror writer published in Sirens Call and Trembling with Fear. Follow her on Twitter: @CorinnePWriter

YEAR FIVE

January 11, 2020/by Black Hare Press

YEAR SIX

January 10, 2020/by Black Hare Press

Tag Archive for: Corinne Pollard

Cracker Jokes

Cracker jokes aren’t funny. Yet when it flutters out from my paper hat, I feel obliged to read it out loud.

“What do you call an elderly snowman?” I pause. “A puddle.”

Most groan, some roll their eyes, but Aunt Iris, who’d been at the sherry, laughs.

I smile at her silliness, watching as her cheeks grow redder, until…BANG!

She vanishes, and my vision darkens. I wipe her blood off my face and realise the table is swimming in it.

I spot her eyeball floating in the gravy boat and her ear in my champagne glass.

Cracker jokes aren’t funny.

Wisps on the Moors

I raised my knickers, my bladder no longer full, while the lilac heathers bobbed in gratitude.

Ready to continue our hike, I spun round, but his tallness and backpack had vanished. I yelled his name, but the roaring wind snatched them.

Dark clouds were massing as my feet grew heavier.

Follow us. Blue lights floated like hopeful lanterns in the darkness. He went this way.

The orbs flew, and my feet followed, leading me in the opposite direction. Their lights calmed my troubled heart. Their gentle, fairy-like faces soothed my loneliness. I didn’t see their glistening fangs until too late.

Patient Update

“Doctor, how fares my elder brother? He’s been locked inside for five years now. Is he cured? Will he take back his inheritance?”

“I’m afraid not, sir. Your brother continues to show odd behaviour and disturbing symptoms like scratching at walls, screaming, attacking himself and others.”

“Pity.”

“Rest assured, we will find the right treatment for him. In the meantime, sir, have you detected any disturbances of the mind?”

“Me?! None whatsoever. How dare you! You forget your place.”

“Apologies, sir, but we believe it can run in the family and it would explain why you’re here, talking to yourself.”

YEAR FIVE

YEAR SIX