Tag Archive for: dumb ways to die

Don’t Feed the Bears

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by Zack Zagranis

Jason winced as he ripped off his shirt and wound it around the bloody stump that used to be his right hand. Don’t feed the bears. He had always thought of it as a suggestion like “Don’t feed the bears…unless you want them begging for food constantly.”

He looked down at his buddy Steve, barely alive with his belly ripped open and his guts hanging out, oozing a thick, dark liquid.

A few feet away, the bear sat, nibbling on Jason’s severed hand.

“Guess it’s more of a rule,” Jason mumbled right before he blacked out.

Zack Zagranis

Zack Zagranis is a punk rock Jedi writing horror and satire for fun and profit.

A Friday Night in Texas

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by Matt Krizan

Darren ambled along the driveway toward the old, run-down farmhouse. From the branches of a nearby tree, chains dangled, meat hooks at the end clinking in the breeze.

“What odd wind chimes,” Darren mused. Then, eyeing the dark splotches staining the ground underneath, “I wonder what spilled.”

The front door opened and out stepped a man holding a chainsaw, wearing an old-fashioned hockey mask and an apron splattered with what looked like red paint. An artist of some sort, Darren figured.

“Hullo.” Darren smiled. “My car ran out of gas. Could I use your phone?”

The man revved his chainsaw.

Matt Krizan

Matt Krizan is a former certified public accountant who writes from his home in Royal Oak, Michigan. His short fiction has appeared or is forthcoming in various publications, including Factor Four Magazine, Daily Science Fiction, and Martian Magazine. Find him online at mattkrizan.com and on Twitter as @MattKrizan.