Scott O’Neill Archives - Page 2 of 2

The Notorious Captain Jane Hotchkiss

May 28, 2023/by Shawna Rowan

by Scott O’Neill

“Just surrender! We’re about through,” crowed Ensign Richards.

A plasma cutter splattered molten metal from the freighter’s final bulkhead.

Muffled contralto laughter sounded behind the hatch. “Dear boy, the renowned star pirate Captain Jane Hotchkiss doesn’t surrender.”

“Renowned? Notorious, maybe. You’ve no engines and minimal life support,” said Richards.

“Where could you go?”

The cut bulkhead fell. Eager navy ratings followed their ensign through the still-smoking hole.

“Wherever I please,” came the voice from a comlink in the empty compartment.

Vibrations from released docking clamps echoed in the suddenly still air.

“My notoriety waxes ever brighter. Your pinnace is lovely.”

Scott O’Neill

Scott writes reports and memorandums by day and speculative fiction by night, with short works published by various presses. You can find him on Twitter.

Twitter: @wererooster

Eudyptula ex Machina

May 5, 2023/by Shawna Rowan

by Scott O’Neill

Thunderous roars shook Sydney Harbour.

“Deploy the penguins,” ordered Professor Miller from the twin-hulled research vessel trailing the kaiju. “May science succeed where bombs failed.”

Hundreds of cybernetically modified little penguins swarmed from shipboard holding pens.

The kaiju faltered and wailed plaintively as the chromed beaks of augmented penguins carved cruel radio-directed paths through its innards. The mighty monster toppled.

Cheers erupted on the ship.

“Signal for return,” said Miller.

“Unresponsive.”

“Send it again!”

The frothing water, dark with pureed kaiju, grew still.

Professor Miller watched in horror as the swarm sped towards the city centre.

“What have we done?”

Scott O’Neill

Scott writes reports and memorandums by day and speculative fiction by night, with short works published by various presses. You can find him on Twitter.

Twitter: @wererooster

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Expert System

December 1, 2022/by Shawna Rowan

by Scott O’Neill

I get the others to stop whimpering so I can hear my smartwatch.

“sAIveME free expert system downloaded. Please summarise your crisis.”

“Class-Nine shuttlecraft. Drive damaged by hostile lifeforms. Pilot and engineer eaten by same. Nontechnical crew to repair drive for escape.”

“Acknowledged. Scan damage and available resources.”

I show my watch the engine and repair kits.

“Acknowledged. Processing.”

The others crowd around to stare in breathless hope at the crawling progress metre on my watch.

“Solution complete. In-app purchase required. Please tender twenty-nine credits.”

“Smartwatch, check balance.”

“Balance twenty-two credits.”

I’m still laughing brokenly when they come for me.

Scott O’Neill.

Scott writes reports and memorandums by day and speculative fiction by night, with short works published by various presses. He likes technology a lot, but he thinks we trust it too much. He can be found on Twitter @wererooster.

Tag Archive for: Scott O’Neill

The Notorious Captain Jane Hotchkiss

“Just surrender! We’re about through,” crowed Ensign Richards.

A plasma cutter splattered molten metal from the freighter’s final bulkhead.

Muffled contralto laughter sounded behind the hatch. “Dear boy, the renowned star pirate Captain Jane Hotchkiss doesn’t surrender.”

“Renowned? Notorious, maybe. You’ve no engines and minimal life support,” said Richards.

“Where could you go?”

The cut bulkhead fell. Eager navy ratings followed their ensign through the still-smoking hole.

“Wherever I please,” came the voice from a comlink in the empty compartment.

Vibrations from released docking clamps echoed in the suddenly still air.

“My notoriety waxes ever brighter. Your pinnace is lovely.”

Eudyptula ex Machina

Thunderous roars shook Sydney Harbour.

“Deploy the penguins,” ordered Professor Miller from the twin-hulled research vessel trailing the kaiju. “May science succeed where bombs failed.”

Hundreds of cybernetically modified little penguins swarmed from shipboard holding pens.

The kaiju faltered and wailed plaintively as the chromed beaks of augmented penguins carved cruel radio-directed paths through its innards. The mighty monster toppled.

Cheers erupted on the ship.

“Signal for return,” said Miller.

“Unresponsive.”

“Send it again!”

The frothing water, dark with pureed kaiju, grew still.

Professor Miller watched in horror as the swarm sped towards the city centre.

“What have we done?”

Expert System

by Scott O’Neill

I get the others to stop whimpering so I can hear my smartwatch.

“sAIveME free expert system downloaded. Please summarise your crisis.”

“Class-Nine shuttlecraft. Drive damaged by hostile lifeforms. Pilot and engineer eaten by same. Nontechnical crew to repair drive for escape.”

“Acknowledged. Scan damage and available resources.”

I show my watch the engine and repair kits.

“Acknowledged. Processing.”

The others crowd around to stare in breathless hope at the crawling progress metre on my watch.

“Solution complete. In-app purchase required. Please tender twenty-nine credits.”

“Smartwatch, check balance.”

“Balance twenty-two credits.”

I’m still laughing brokenly when they come for me.

Scott O’Neill.

YEAR FOUR

YEAR FIVE

YEAR SIX