I didn’t sign up for this ship!
I was press-ganged; seduced by drink and the promise of riches. Slipped a mickey, woke afloat upon the ocean.
Luckily, the cretinous captain doesn’t realise mutiny’s nothing new to me. Quick compliments (YOU’RE NO OAR BORE, YOU’RE B.O.A.T!) and I’m soon first and best mate.
Using behind his back distraction tactics (AKA parrot poisoning) I slyly ply the crew with boozy truths. “This captain’s seafood! It’s the plank, then he’s plankton!”
A pirate’s pact is made; blades break skin, crimson drops diluting our drinks.
Us bloodthirsty lads raise a toast.
“Murder a redrum!”
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