"Next, we’re featuring an inmate who’s committed financial crimes you wouldn’t believe, folks. Sentenced to death by peer jury, this dumpling signed our contract and enjoyed one last week in Montreal while you placed bets.
Now, he quivers before the skull-lined gates, refusing to move, which means Viewer’s Choice! Your micropayments at home will determine his fate.
Oh! He’s shambling toward the Grinning Gate, hoping for Painless Gas. No, Bone Extractor! It’ll be Bone Extractor. Oh no."
The crowd gasps.
"Our inmate’s crying, begging to try Viewer’s Choice instead. Let’s reveal the voting. Wow! Once again, it’s the Bone Extractor!"